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Tales from the Mark Side: An apology – of sorts – to liberals

mark.young@manateeherald.com

If you’ve lived long enough, then you know loyalty isn’t what it used to be whether it’s relationships, so-called friends, some family members, politics or a plethora of other life aspects.

With age comes the understanding that some people in your lives either have or will burn you at some point.

But we, for some reason, stay loyal to certain things that really don’t hold a lot of importance in our lives. Banks tend to be one of those things.

I’d wager that most of you have remained loyal to your bank longer than some people have been loyal to you.

I’m no different. I moved back to Florida, and more specifically, Manatee County in early 2011. I opened an account with Suntrust and never looked back.

Why did I remain loyal? Because I never had a problem. I went to the bank, my money was there when I needed it and I took it out or put it in without issue.

Suntrust was recently taken over by Truist and I’ve had nothing but problems trying to do what little banking I do so I decided to make a change after more than a decade.

Much like my breakup letter to liberals, I had enough.

Besides, they closed my local branch and I was having to drive all the way to the branch on Cortez Road to try to resolve my issues. And if I have one goal left in life as a semi-retired journalist, it’s to never drive on Cortez Road again unless absolutely necessary.

By the way, I’d still like to know whose brilliant mind came up with the idea for a half dozen crosswalks within a quarter mile to make driving that road even worse.

Must have been a liberal.

Don’t worry, I’m getting to the apology for making those kinds of statements.

Have you ever walked into your bank and announced that you wanted to close your account? It’s like breaking up with someone.

I was sat down with a lovely young lady (am I allowed to say lady?) who was very disappointed that I was leaving and began to ask me the same old break up questions?

What did we do wrong? Is it another bank? Can we do anything to make this right? Hopefully you’ll miss us and will come back.

It turned into an awkward ordeal.

Then she asked me if I wanted a check for what was in my account and I told her no, I wanted cash. She said she wasn’t sure if they had that much cash (which, trust me, wasn’t all that much) on hand.

I had to ask the obvious question: You’re a bank, aren’t you? You don’t have that much cash on hand? Isn’t the whole point of a bank is having a safe place to store cash? What do you do with my cash when I put it here?

It was at that point where I was reminded that my decision for this breakup was a good decision and that my desire to ease out of this relationship softly waned. I assured Truist of the truth: It’s not me, it’s definitely you.

We deal with a lot of absurdity these days from the insane left and it just seems to be bleeding into our personal lives whether it’s a bank without cash or some idiot putting multiple crosswalks on the only stretch of Cortez Road that actually moved.

Or worse, someone like NY DA Alvin Bragg who is trying to indict President Trump for an 8-year-old Stormy Daniels situation. This is the same DA who lets violent criminals back onto the street with no bail and is changing violent felonies into misdemeanors.

Such typical liberal logic.

Yes, the apology is coming. Be patient.

We strived for decades to develop a technological world that makes life easier, but we can’t escape the human condition that craves chaos. It’s a liberal thing that infects the rest of us. It’s the real virus.

We live in a bizzaro world created by leftists in charge where everything is upside down. It’s where they do the things they accuse us of doing and somehow get away with it.

The traitor Jane Fonda recently proved that point when she got on national TV and called for the murder of pro-life people.

This is a woman who should have been tried for actual treason she committed during the Vietnam War. By law, she should have been put up against the wall and faced a firing squad.

That’s not me saying it. That’s the law saying how it should have went down.

And yet she was allowed to continue her career like nothing happened while actual innocent Americans were rounded up after Jan. 6 and locked away in federal holes somewhere.

The left has always been protected in this country. We suspected it for a long time but the depths of it were only recently exposed thanks to the courage of President Trump and the Great Awakening movement.

Robert DiNiro threatened Trump with violence, Madonna threatened to blow up the White House and Fonda called for the murder of pro-life people to protect the right to murder unborn children.

Bizarro world? At this point we would be lucky to have it so good. It’s gone way beyond bizarre when someone like Eric Swalwell – who is essentially a Chinese spy in Congress – calls patriotic Americans traitors.

Liberals are intense people and the anger is strong in these folks. What are they so angry about?

I’m not sure but they sure are lashing out at me in droves lately. It just shows we are doing something right, but if you read their messages and comments, it’s just sad. The quintessential keyboard warriors who feel safe behind a computer screen.

One apparently read a couple of these columns and his poor liberal mind must have finally exploded as he lashed out at me.

As I was reading it, I could just see him violently hitting letters on his keyboard, all red in the face with steam coming out of ears as his mom called out to him at the same time to clean his basement room.

In one part of his comment he referenced my piece about the end game and whether we could avoid a Second Civil War.

I get it, bro. Reading comprehension isn’t for everyone. It’s just hard for some people.

Rational people clearly understood that I wasn’t calling for a Civil War, rather than saying that I have hope for a solution to avoid one, but his liberal mind couldn’t process that information in the rational way it was intended.

Liberalism is a mental disorder. Follow that science for those who trashed me about just how many scientists call manmade climate change a hoax and cash cow.

Science proves liberals suffer from a mental illness. It doesn’t prove manmade climate change.

Then he referenced my Jan. 6 column where I noted that ANTIFA was present and he said there is no such group called ANTIFA.

Huh?

Because his comments were a bit incoherent and his spelling could use some work – which happens when you type fast and angry – I was left to assume he was making the leftist argument that ANTIFA isn’t a group, it’s an idea. Either way it’s a fine example of how the distorted liberal mind works.

So it appears I’m hurting a lot of liberal feelings, which brings me to my promised apology.

Dear liberals: If I have offended you or have hurt your feelings in any possible way, then I’m sorry.

Just kidding. If you have a problem with dealing with the truth, you can kiss my American arse. If it were up to me, I’d change the Statue of Liberty plaque to say, “We welcome everyone – legally – except liberals.”

So if this hurts your poor little feelings, I don’t care.

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