Tales from the Mark Side: Merry Christmas Manatee County and America!

By Mark Young

mark.young@manateeherald.com

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the White House.

Only a single creature was stirring and it was a louse.

The Biden stockings were hung by the chimney with care, Joe really believed that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

Joe Biden was restless in his presidential bed, while Jill Biden was giving him a cup full of meds.

Jill in her kerchief and Joe in his dunce cap, were trying to settle into a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn, arose such a crash – Hunter Biden’s genitals had such a rash.

“Daddy, daddy!” Hunter did exclaim. “That prostitute did cause me so much genital pain!”

Joe sprang from his bed to see what was wrong, only to see Hunter smoking his bong.

The moon on the breast of what looked like snow, lined his son’s nose like fresh cut blow.

When what to Joe’s wondering eyes did appear, but Hunter’s crashed car so full of beer.

Joe Biden approached his son so lively and quick, and with glazed over eyes asked, “Are you St. Nick?”

From Hunter’s crashed car, did strippers came, and Hunter shouted them each by name.

On Tracy, on Stacy and Candy!

On Roxy, on Foxy and Mandy!

Joe Biden sat in awe and wonder – as Jill knew this was just another Biden family blunder.

When suddenly out of the snow did a Republican appear – and the Bidens were suddenly full of fear.

“Christmas is HUGE!” Donald Trump did shout. “In two years, you all will be out!”

“Whether it be I or a Florida governor, we will take back our beloved America. It will be a big and beautiful election like no other!”

Trump laid his middle finger aside his nose, and with a twinkle in his eye, The Donald arose.

As Joe wondered what was going on – Trump’s laughter could be heard even after he was gone.

Joe Biden shouted with glee, “Jill, on myself I did pee! St. Nick did come to visit me!”

Jill looked at her soiled husband and son, and acknowledged that in two years, “We are done.”

Joe, sleepy and confused, now wondered aloud, “Where am I and who are you two – also I did fill my pajamas with poo.”

Hunter passed out and Jill did cry – as Trump’s voice was heard loud within the night sky.

“A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” as Trump did wave. “Only two more to go until this country we save!”