Tales from the Mark Side

The Conservative Voice in Manatee County
Column #76

I realize a lot of Americans are fascinated with the British royal family.

But then again, a lot of Americans are fascinated with the Kardashians.

It’s something I simply fail to understand and thought the queen’s jubilee celebration received entirely way too much coverage by the U.S. media given the plethora of crises plaguing our country right now.

Fox and Friends devoted three straight days of full coverage to an event that everyone got to see the queen for a grand total of a few minutes.

Can someone say overkill?

I fall directly into the category of who gives a flying fornication when it comes to the British monarchy, the Kardashians and the so-called “Real” Housewives of wherever next.

There’s way too much real life drama going on for me to willingly dip into drama TV where rich people, who don’t have a worry in the world, create their own drama on purpose out of sheer boredom.

It’s not that I don’t have respect for Queen Elizabeth because I do. In reality, she’s had a remarkable run and I can understand why the United Kingdom has a grand sense of reverence for the Queen Mother.

But she’s earned that reverence in a lot of ways through her quiet actions as opposed to her birthright stature.

And it’s not like I don’t respect one of our greatest allies, but I also have a deeper love for America and remember that this great nation was formed because we had to fight a revolution to break away from a British king.

And then we had to fend off a surprise invasion in 1812 where those dang redcoats torched the White House.

And then there was that time in 1983 when we were training with the British SAS and they started a massive brawl in our enlisted club where I got sucker punched.

I ended up giving that guy a special kind of beating on top of a military police car of all places. I doubt history will remember that one though.

Too bad, because it was legendary.

But in all seriousness, I admire the queen’s grace through decades of war and family drama. And she never allows herself to be seen unless she is capable of putting that grace on full display.

As I look ahead next month to having spent 57 years on this earth, I have come to realize that my aging falls into a different category.

Lord knows that I never expected to live this long and did just about everything I could to ensure a short life, but clearly have failed in that endeavor. In my youth, I couldn’t bear the thought of “getting old.”

Not that I’m there yet, but at 23 … 57 sounded very, very, very old.

But I’ve found that I like aging. I like it a lot actually, because with age comes certain philosophical freedoms.

I fall into that category where I care less and less what people think about me. That’s saying a lot because I’ve never been a person who gave it that much thought anyway.

But I could easily be that guy who leaves the house in knee-high white socks, black sandals, a Tommy Bahama tropical shirt and khaki shorts pulled up to my belly button.

I could … but I wouldn’t. I grew up in the late 70s and early 80s. I’m a jeans and T-shirt guy until I die.

Another aging factor in my favor is the fact that my tolerance for stupid has dropped below zero. I can’t stomach being fake and ignorant at any level whether it’s in politics or a movie where a .38 special magically fires 15 rounds before running out of ammo.

It all makes me cringe and yes, I am that guy that will sigh loudly during a movie and yell out, “That’s BS! It doesn’t work like that!”

You can imagine my personal hell right now with Biden in charge. It’s a level of stupid, fake and ignorant I haven’t experienced since Jimmy Carter, now America’s second worse president.

So now I yell out, “That’s BS! It doesn’t work like that!” when I watch the news instead of a movie.

A quick example is every time I hear a democrat talk about how they can’t do anything about the price of gas because it’s a, “global commodity.”

Well, I say, “BS! It doesn’t work like that!” when you can easily be energy independent.

So growing older has shrunk my filter to a point where I doubt you could find it with a microscope. I just have to call it out when I see things like the ever present ignorance of destructive progressive philosophies.

Unfortunately, Republicans aren’t immune to self destruction. And I won’t shy away from calling that out, too. And I know you won’t either.

So as we race for the midterm finish line my fellow Patriots, stay vigilant, stay aware and stay informed.

By Mark Young

mark.young@manateeherald.com