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Tales from the Mark Side: Time To Ban Hello Kitty Keychains

The recent attack on Congressman and Republican candidate for New York governor Lee Zeldin is outrageous and a wake up call to end private ownership of Hello Kitty keychains once and for all.

When will America begin to take seriously the violence caused by these Hello Kitty keychains, and take serious action to ban these horrific weapons of war?

These assault Hello Kitty keychains have to go for the safety of our citizens.

Where is the left on this crucial subject? Why have we not seen Biden going on TV and demanding legislation to ban Hello Kitty?

I’m kidding, of course. We all know Hello Kitty doesn’t kill people. People kill people.

I’m not trying to make light of this very serious situation, but can you imagine being the guy killed by a Hello Kitty keychain? The warrior in me shudders at the thought.

I mean really, cut me in half with a machine gun or blow me to pieces with an RPG, but please Lord don’t let me die in a Hello Kitty attack.

And what self-respecting veteran chooses this particular weapon to attack someone?

Did he wake up that day, look himself in the mirror and say, “Today I make a statement!” and picks up his Hello Kitty keychain with a murderous intent on his mind?

Geezus, what a warrior mentality this guy has.

Seriously though, I was stunned at how easy the guy was able to walk up to Zeldin, who really didn’t pay that much attention to what was happening until the guy entered into slow motion mode while raising the pronged keychain toward his throat.

If the guy wasn’t drunk off his butt, he probably could have easily done some damage to Zeldin.

Zeldin must have hired the same security team that used to work for Dave Chappelle.

If any elected officials or celebrities are looking for actual security that will inflict serious violence on a potential attacker, well hit me up. I’m for hire.

And it was pretty ironic that the guy that tried to kill him was immediately released without any bail requirements under New York’s woke liberal pro-criminal laws.

On top of it all, he was only initially charged with second-degree attempted assault. The feds finally stepped in just yesterday to file more severe charges against him, which shocks me actually.

Had AOC been in Zeldin’s position, it would have been a national uproar and this guy would have never seen the light of day again. The left-wing media, who barely covered the attack on Zeldin, would have launched a series of so-called “right-wing extremist attacks,” stories.

MSNBC gave the story a total of 36 seconds.

And the media that did cover it tried to make it sound much more intense by calling the Hello Kitty keychain, “brass knuckles.”

No, no, no, no and hell no. While the keychain is indeed designed to be a defensive weapon, they are not brass knuckles.

Biden took several days to finally condemn the attack on a U.S. congressman, but that’s understandable. The poor guy doesn’t even know where he is half the time, which is clearly evident in the fact that he can’t even remember the illegal business dealings he was having with his criminal son.

And speaking of poor memories, let’s take a brief look at the recent guilty finding of Steve Bannon for contempt of Congress because Bannon refused to cooperate with what everyone knows is an illegitimate Jan. 6 committee handpicked by Nancy Pelosi.

The media has been all over this misdemeanor trial and subsequent conviction, without even mentioning the fact that former Obama attorney general Eric Holder did the exact same thing when Congress subpoenaed him over the Fast and Furious scandal.

In fact, no one since the 1970s has been indicted for ignoring a Congressional subpoena. But since Bannon is still loyal to President Donald Trump, he’s the one that gets railroaded.

Bannon will win an appeal in this case because the committee is indeed unconstitutional in the way its members were selected and have no authority whatsoever except to grandstand with Liz Cheney still pretending to be a Republican.

Good Lord, you know Dick Cheney is rolling over in his grave. Not that I think Dick would have been a big fan of Trump, but he certainly would have never thought what a traitor his daughter has become.

But in closing, I hope this so-called veteran who attacked Zeldin gets both the help he needs and the consequences he deserves.

He gives veterans a bad name and that’s saying a lot considering what our U.S. military is doing to itself with this woke infection taking place.

It was only recently that U.S. Army recruitment ads were all about being a bad mofo and doing awesome stuff. Now the ads are cartoons designed to focus on lesbian couples.

What could go wrong?

Last I checked, it was Be All You Can Be, not be whatever you want to be.

We are in serious trouble my fellow Patriots. The phrase, “Our country is at stake,” is thrown around a lot, but now, more than ever, it is true.

Stay vigilant my friends, stay aware and stay informed.

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