Editorial: Nanny Gruters Rides His Broom To The Beaches

State Senator Joe Gruters joined the Nanny State by sponsoring a bill which allows cities to ban smoking at the beach. The relaxing cigar smoke at sunset is evidently a danger to the good citizens of Florida.

Gruters said his purpose was to protect children’s butts from cigarette butts. Gruters seems to be following the lead of another famous politician, our current POTUS who seems awfully concerned about children’s butts, necks and any other body part he can massage. Why is it that Republican politicians often want to emulate their Democratic counterparts and regulate or outlaw anything it’s citizens enjoy.

Next we can expect Senator Gruters to mandate chastity belts at the beach to prevent you-know-what from occurring after dark and soiling the beautiful Florida sand.

Gruters lamely protested that he was protecting visitors from the deadly pandemic of death from secondhand smoke. The American Cancer Society should look into banning beach visits. Gruters must have been impressed with Gavin Newsome closing the beaches during Covid. Forget science, Gruters knows it is dangerous to smoke a cigar at the beach.

Will Rogers once said “you can’t legislate intelligence and common sense into people.” It seems you can’t always find common sense in politicians.

I guess Sarasota has found their Elizabeth Warren. We just did not realize it would be a Republican.

Fellow cigar smokers, Enjoy your last few hassle free days of smoking at the beach. If you see movement in the bushes, it might not be a communist but it could be Nanny Gruters.